Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
