1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
