I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
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she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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