thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
