I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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