Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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