The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
