i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
