dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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