im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
from now on my penis is your penis
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
