Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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