i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
