They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
