I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
