belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize