you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
