Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
