turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
