I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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