just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
