JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
