they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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