that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you would pick up someone in the library
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
