Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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