So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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