well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
