Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
