I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
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you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
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I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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