so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
