Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
