The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
