so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize