Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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