I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
