I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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