I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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