No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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