My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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