did i walk over a car last night?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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