DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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