grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
