You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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