Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
