What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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