Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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