I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
How external is "for external use only"?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
