he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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