well I can't set my house on fire every night
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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