I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
