I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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