best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
