Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
