Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
