Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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