Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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