You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so let's talk penis.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
