the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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