i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
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Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
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I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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