He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize