So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
