I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
