We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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